February 2011
41 posts
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Ruined
i’m trying
dying in a sense
inside
i’m screaming looking for a way to vent
my anger and my frustration
your love for me was just a presentation
you ate my heart like the cannibal you are
my chest display is full of scars
fake smiles plastered on public facades
hidden shame concealed in hate
take off your mask and reveal my fate
you swore that we would move mountains
but...
“It’s not the load that brings you down. It’s the way you carry it.”
– Lena Horne♥
Randomly felt like writing random words
it started typically it was the love story that was told in every house hold on to the memories that we imagined while relaxin under the sun on the hot summer days with the waves of emotions rolling over us and moving into the outer abyss of our past hoping for a pass to make it last forever more than just a day because its important its special it can’t go away but it does outta time its no...
“Next time I’ll be braver
I’ll be my own savior
When the thunder...”
– Adele- Turning Tables
“Humility and humiliation come from the same word family. Sometimes a little...”
– boop
“Now is the time get it right or get left behind.”
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“one chance that’s all we get. one chance to prove to the world that you...”
“Promise me that you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you...”
– Winnie the Pooh
THAT IS AWESOME!: 2011 Will Break The All Time... →
thatisawesome:
Here’s how it breaks it down. 27 sequels total. Nine second movies (up from eight in 2010), five third movies (down from seven), five fourth movies, five fifth movies, two seventh movies and one eighth movie. 9+5+5+5+2+1=27.
The second movies are Cars 2, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick…
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Chapter 4
I could not focus the next day while I was babysitting the Jenkins boys. They were running around like wild animals and all I did was sit on the couch imagining all the worst possible outcomes that could come from Sandra and Teddy's basketball lesson. It was eating me up inside like a parasite. I could not get away from my own thoughts. Even though Teddy had reassured me the night before that he wanted me, I could not be naive to the fact that Sandra always gets what she wants. I knew that she was pulling out all the stops to get Teddy to notice her and I knew Teddy would try his hardest to fend her off but he would eventually give in. She was prettier than me, she had a better body. She was just the perfect choice. Just as I was sighing at the thought of her being better than me, I heard a loud crash. I looked to see what it was and the Jenkins boys had knocked over their mother's flower vase. I rushed to clean it up and just as I dropped the broken pieces into the trash Mrs. Jenkins walked in. I was shocked because she was not due back for another two hours. She said while grabbing money out of her purse " Yeah I came back early so go ahead and enjoy this beautiful day." "Thank you!" I said elated as I rushed out the door with the cash.
I ran as fast as I could to the courts to see if I could surprise Teddy and Sandra. When I got there I did not see them at first. Then I looked on the bench and there they were, kissing. My insides felt like pudding and all I wanted to do was cry but I stopped myself. I composed myself and walked over and said, "Hey guys." They separated and Teddy's face said it all. It screamed guilty and remorseful, he hung his head in regret. Sandra on the other hand was smirking with that look of accomplishment. She looked at me and said, "Hey girl, you got out early." Teddy's head was still in his hands and I responded, "Yeah." There was an awkward silence and in my mind all I was thinking of ways to kill this girl but I stayed composed. The silence continued and then i broke it by saying, "Well I let you guys get back to whatever you guys were doing. See ya." I walked away trying my hardest to look as if nothing was wrong when inside everything was broken.
I walked all the way down the street before my legs gave out and I placed myself on a park bench. I could not breathe, I could not think, all I could do was cry. 'He didn't even chase after me' is all I thought. My eyes were blurred from the tears but I could see shapes passing me by, most of which were probably staring at the chick crying her eyes out on a park bench, but I didn't care. I felt someone stop next to me so I wiped my eyes and there he was, Teddy. He stood there just staring at my face then he asked, "Can I have a seat?" I looked at him and responded sourly, "It's a free country you can have whatever you want." He sat down and looked at the ground saying, "Okay then I want you." I looked up at him and snapped, "What?! Are you seriously trying to give me this bullshit again? If you want Sandra then go ahead, like I said it's a free country. Just stop doing this to me. Just stop." He saw the hurt in my eyes and waited awhile before he spoke finally he said, "I know there is no excuse for what happen but she really did kiss me. Yeah, I should've pulled her off but you showed up first. I am really sorry." I laughed and said, "Sorry? Why are you even here?" He looked at me and said, "I told you. I want you." I snapped back, "No you want Sandra." He sghed and said, "If I wanted Sandra I would have fucked her the first day I got here but instead I talked to you. She may be pretty and aggressive but she's a slut. I don't want to be with a girl who is as deep as a puddle. I want someone who I can have a conversation with, someone who is beautiful on the inside and out." He took his hand and turned my head to ward him, "I want you." Just as he said that I couldn't hold my tears back any longer and wet tracks raced down my cheeks. He took his hand and wiped away the tears and said, "Give me another chance to prove how much I want you, Please." I waited a while to compose myself then I said,
"I felt like a complete idiot today."
"I know and I'm sorry..."
"I'm not finished. You told me last night that you wanted me and i believed you then today I see you kissing my best friend, now you are sitting here yet again telling me you want me. What am I supposed to do? Am i supposed to fall for your incredible charm? Am I supposed to fall for your puppy dog eyes? I don't want to, I really don't. So I won't. Until you prove to me otherwise I can't do this anymore. Goodbye Teddy."
bunchawords
Love is the precocious ability to be blind to an individual’s flaws. Understanding their expressions and longing to be the reason for sparkle that glistens in their eye when they reminisce. The inadvertent need to be loved and the cautionary uncontrollable ability to love another. Losing love is the predicament that leaves a person questioning everything they ever knew. Their spirit becomes...
LALALALA
Don’t give up just yet, this life wasn’t meant to be a breeze. If you want this you have got to fight. If you want the best you have to see the worst. Find out what you want and figure out the best way to get it. Don’t give up just yet.
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“Love is more than just a feeling it is the only word that can spark change....”
– Lorina
“God is always listening but its up to you to talk to HIM”
– Lorina
“gabagabagooo”
– baby
“ya live and ya learn that’s what life is. It’s a process of trial...”
– L
“A life you don’t live is still lost.”
– Goo Goo Dolls- Before it’s too late
battling
i'm battling with my old self i want to go back but my present self won't let me should succumb to the temptation or keep my rage suppressed i'm not a good person remember that i am just a very good pretender.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic,...”
– Dale Carnegie
“We’re not perfect any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up but then we...”
– The Last Song
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Chapter 3
I stayed up most of that night thinking about Teddy. I only knew him for a day but I felt like in some ways I have known him my whole life. The night seemed to dissipate faster than I had thought and before I knew it, the morning sun was shinning over my face. Even though I didn’t get that much sleep I still felt awake and alert. Maybe it was because I was excited to see Teddy. I started my...
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Chapter 2
Teddy was a tall lean boy about five feet nine inches. His hair was short and dark brown and it lightened when the sun shined on him. He was very friendly and he had a smile that could make anyone smile right along with him. I loved that about him. He had a carefree attitude, his fun-loving heart and his looks were just a bonus. He was the definition of a perfect guy.
As we paced our steps down...
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love story i'm writing Chapter 1
It was a warm summer day when it happened. Yes, i remember it like it was yesterday. It was the summer I turned sixteen. I can still hear the melodic sounds of the neighborhood girls jumping rope on the side walk. The giggles of the older girls watching the boys play touch football in the street. I didn’t get along too well with those girls. I didn’t really get along with anyone except...
1 tag
“Acceptance is a necessary step to recovery. Accepting that your life is still...”
– L
In philosophy class today :) ...
In philosophy class today we were talking about Descartes and his belief our minds and bodies are distinct. He made the statement that he can conceive existing without a body but he cannot conceive existing without a mind. Now everyone in class was taking it so literal and i didn’t get a chance to state my opinion on the subject. I took that statement differently. Look at it this way, you...
“Living is only half as fun if you’re doing it alone”
– L
“Beauty is more than just appearance, its confidence too.”
– L
““An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life. ‘There’s a great...”
– Anonymous (via naomiwade)
“should i put a nail in the coffin or leave it open casket
like it’ll make...”
– L
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“Make a change because you want to because in the end you’re the one who...”
– L
“strong determination can spark the motivation to move the mountains within our...”
– L 